adoption: n. Building a family through the process of concentrated, dedicated, enduring love rather than biology.
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| My husband and I and our son on the day we met him. |
Boys wait. Why? For some reason in the adoption world, families wait for girls and boys wait for families. Especially older boys. I am not sure why and it has been changing slowly over time, but still, if families have a preference for the gender they are open to adopting, it's usually a girl. When we began our adoption journey 7 years ago, we wanted a boy. We were matched VERY quickly. It's one of our best "yeses" ever. Since then we have adopted three more boys... couldn't imagine our lives without them.
I need to tell you about another boy. A boy who waits. His name is Yi. My son remembers him from his orphanage. This is some of his story...
"A child born to another woman calls me Mom. The depth of that tragedy and the magnitude of that privilege are not lost on me." Jody Landers
Upon admission to the institution, Yi could walk alone, use a spoon to eat and would cooperate when getting dressed. At 2 years old, he could help with chores and speak simple words such as aunt, sister and teacher. When he was 5, he could speak 3-5 word sentences, understood instructions, run and jump and recognized numbers 1-10 as well as recognized a few simple Chinese characters and colors.
Yi is described as shy, smart and active. A few of his hobbies include reading books, drawing and playing with other children. Like many boys his age, his favorite activity is playing outdoors.
Yi was born with beta thalassemia major and receives regular blood transfusions. When he comes home, he will likely need blood transfusions every 3 weeks for life. {Side note: there are currently very exciting trails being conducted in thalassemia patients and it is promising that a cure could be on the horizon in years to come.} Bluebird Bio Press Release
He will also need iron chelation medication to remove the toxic iron accumulated from the life-saving blood transfusions. Iron overload will cause organ failure and heart damage. Without medication that pulls the iron out, he will not be able to live a long life. The life expectancy for thalassemia patients with poor treatment and poor chelation is their early 20s.
He will also need iron chelation medication to remove the toxic iron accumulated from the life-saving blood transfusions. Iron overload will cause organ failure and heart damage. Without medication that pulls the iron out, he will not be able to live a long life. The life expectancy for thalassemia patients with poor treatment and poor chelation is their early 20s.
But with proper medical care, he will thrive! Two of our sons have this same blood disorder. They live full and active lives and are very healthy and adventurous boys. People with thalassemia who follow the standard care for treatment live long and fulfilling lives.
In 2018 it was noted that Yi's development is behind his peers. This could be due to his lack of energy because of his constant state of anemia. Or it could be that he needs extra support with learning. Either way, a family will make all the difference.
Yi is liked by his teacher, and enjoys playing with “well-behaved” children. His caregivers also describe him as having a gentle temperament.
YI UPDATE MARCH 2019 (6 years old) :
Updated Measurements:
Weight：35 lbs, Height: 40 inches
"Yi doesn’t talk a lot. His speech is clear, but he speaks in a low voice. He can speak 3-4 words at one time. He can follow instructions. He is now in the preschool inside the orphanage. He studies basic knowledge and has the language training. He is doing well there and the teachers like him. He likes going to school. He gets along well with the other children, but doesn’t show much interest in playing with the other children. He likes puzzles and building blocks. He can’t run or jump too much due to his physical condition. He needs a blood transfusion about every 20 days. Because of his need, he is not very active and tires easily."
YI Update MARCH 2020 (7 years old):
His current height is 41.5 inches, weight is 36 lbs,
"He doesn't like to talk, but his speaking is very tender and clear. He can say three to four-word sentences. He understands what is said to him and can follow directions. He goes to kindergarten in the orphanage to get education. He receives basic education and language therapy. He is very good in the kindergarten and he likes to go to kindergarten and the teachers like him. He gets along very well with other kids. He seems no very close friends yet. He likes Legos and wooden blocks. Because of his special needs, he can't acutely run or jump. He needs to have blood transfusion every 20 days at XX District People's Hospital of XX City"
https://vimeo.com/maaspecialkids/maa-sutton
https://vimeo.com/maaspecialkids/maa-sutton2
ADOPTION AND THALASSEMIA RESOURCES:
Wilks Family Blog - All About Thalassemia
Thalassemia- A parent's prospective from Madison Adoption blog
Cooley's Anemia Foundation Adoption Resources
In 2018 it was noted that Yi's development is behind his peers. This could be due to his lack of energy because of his constant state of anemia. Or it could be that he needs extra support with learning. Either way, a family will make all the difference.
Yi is liked by his teacher, and enjoys playing with “well-behaved” children. His caregivers also describe him as having a gentle temperament.
Updated Measurements:
Weight：35 lbs, Height: 40 inches
"Yi doesn’t talk a lot. His speech is clear, but he speaks in a low voice. He can speak 3-4 words at one time. He can follow instructions. He is now in the preschool inside the orphanage. He studies basic knowledge and has the language training. He is doing well there and the teachers like him. He likes going to school. He gets along well with the other children, but doesn’t show much interest in playing with the other children. He likes puzzles and building blocks. He can’t run or jump too much due to his physical condition. He needs a blood transfusion about every 20 days. Because of his need, he is not very active and tires easily."
YI Update MARCH 2020 (7 years old):
His current height is 41.5 inches, weight is 36 lbs,
"He doesn't like to talk, but his speaking is very tender and clear. He can say three to four-word sentences. He understands what is said to him and can follow directions. He goes to kindergarten in the orphanage to get education. He receives basic education and language therapy. He is very good in the kindergarten and he likes to go to kindergarten and the teachers like him. He gets along very well with other kids. He seems no very close friends yet. He likes Legos and wooden blocks. Because of his special needs, he can't acutely run or jump. He needs to have blood transfusion every 20 days at XX District People's Hospital of XX City"
A word about adoption...
Adoption is not "saving" a child.
It's not about feeding and clothing a child or giving him medical care (although in many cases, that is life-saving.) It's not about taking him on family trips to the beach or watching his joy when gets his first new bike.
Adoption is much, much more than that.
It's a front-row seat to a miracle.
It's about a joy and peace that is unimaginable to us. And often that joy and peace is preceded by chaos, uneasiness, and unknowns. And HARD, lots of hard.
Adoption is about finding a place in our hearts we never new was there.
It's about following a calling that seems illogical and difficult.
It's about loss and grieving.
It's about redemption, but not in the way we might think. And to be clear, WE are not doing any redeeming or rescuing. But WE are being rescued... from our flaws and self-indulging mindset, from our tiny world view, from our need for certainty and order...essentially from our ourselves.
Adoption will rock your world and you will quickly realize what matters in this life and what is the window dressing.
Truly, it's about experiencing God's unfailing and unconditional love and grace through this gift we call "adoption."
There are no words to capture the magnitude of this blessing. I can't tell you it will always be easy (in fact I can tell you it will NOT be easy), but I can tell you it will always be worth it.
Since the day he was left in that train station, Yi has been waiting for a family to come. Could you be the family to say 'yes, he is our son!' ?
~ Yi's file was prepared for adoption in winter 2018. It has been placed with several different agencies over the years. For info on where his file is currently and how to adopt Yi, feel free to email me: alisondri@hotmail.com ~
YI'S VIDEOS:
https://vimeo.com/maaspecialkids/maa-sutton2
Thalassemia- A parent's prospective from Madison Adoption blog
Cooley's Anemia Foundation Adoption Resources
